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Back when Matt and I worked together, we talked a lot of shit on IM. We started doing this when we were both working for the same company and needed to complain about and ridicule the management or the other employees behind their backs, and it grew out of that. It got to the point where we would IM each other, even though we were sitting right next to each other--that way you don't have to take off your headphones.

Over time these chats developed into a fairly stylized art form, with vague rules and, as Matt put it, a certain je ne sais quoi that gave them coherence. I had logs of it going back a couple of years of all the shit we talked, so I snipped out some of the funniest bits and put them here.

Caution: some of this stuff is really offensive. I mean really, profoundly vulgar and bad. If words like "shit" and "fuck" and "felching homo" upset you, you should avoid reading any of these entries. I hesitated a little bit to put this page up, because I'm actually a pretty nice guy, and Matt is a really nice guy, one of the most decent people I've ever met, but sometimes when guys get together, they behave badly.

You were warned.

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